Why We Fight: A Transformative Road Map to Healing Conflict in Any Relationship

Uncover hidden wounds to finally end recurring relationship arguments. In Why We Fight, relationship coach and couples’ therapist, Kim Polinder, reveals the real reasons those familiar arguments keep returning, no matter how small the trigger seems. Polinder shows that most conflicts aren’t really about the dishes or chores; they’re about core wounds, attachment styles, and negative self-beliefs that formed long before you entered any relationship. Inspired by her years as a tech engineer, Polinder provides a systematic, root-cause approach, turning overwhelming feelings into a clear, step-by-step process to navigate arguments better. Through case studies, practical exercises, and guided questions, you’ll learn to troubleshoot arguments in real time, regulate your emotions, communicate effectively, and reframe old patterns. Along the way, you’ll discover not only how to improve your relationship but also a deeper understanding of yourself and why you hurt the way you do. If you’re sick of feeling out of control as the same old fights keep bubbling up, Why We Fight provides a path to understanding the real reasons we argue and how to finally change them, before it’s too late.